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You might be a Pilipino if you ...
- Have a "barrel man" in your house and when you lift up the barrel the wooden man goes shwing!
- Have the Last Supper quilt tacked on your dining room wall.
- Have a "walking doll" that's still new even though it was bought 15 years ago, b/c your mom kept it in a china cabinet and never let you play with it.
- Have an altar or shrine in your living room.
- Have a "dirty kitchen" in the backyard or garage in addition to you regular one.
- Have an out-of-tune piano which no one in the family ever learned to
play.
- Have a "Weapons of Moroland" shield for a wall decoration.
- Have carabao or a big fork and spoon carvings in your house.
- Cover your carpeted floors with plastic liners; ditto your mattress and sofa.
- Have a tabo (dipper) and a pail in your bathroom; also a pumice stone (panghilod) for scrubbing.
- Say "open" or "Close the lights."
- Refer to your refrigerator as "pridyider."
- Say "bitch" when you mean "beach"
- Call all chewing gum "Chiclets."
- Have a hard time using prepositions (in, or, at) correctly; say "he" when you mean "she," or vice versa.
- Say "comfort room" instead of "restroom."
- Say "chok-o-late."
- Know what "chocolate meat" is
- Use your fingers (instead of a measuring cup to measure rice water.
- Use you fingers as eating utensils with one leg up on you chair.
- Own a "turbo" Oven, a karaoke system and a pressure cooker.
- Bought the karaoke system before the stereo.
- Buy crates of Spam, canned corned beef and Vienna sausages at discount clubs.
- Ask for Kraft cheese "made int he Philippines" at the Filipino store (where it's available!).
- Dip fruit in salt before eating it.
- Eat avocado with milk and sugar.
- Eat rice with spaghetti.
- Enjoy pancit and pan de sal sandwiches; also ice cream and bread sandwiches.
- Prefer "instant" to brewed coffee and powdered dairy creamer to fresh milk or cream.
- Peel a char-shiu-bao (siopao) before eating it.
- Use a fork and spoon in a Chinese restaurant and wipe your plate and utensils with napkins before using them.
- Can cut your meat with your spoon.
- Everything you eat is sauteed in garlic, onions, and tomatoes.
- Can eat supper for breakfast.
- Have toyo (soy sauce) circles on you tablecloths.
- Have bottles of toyo, patis, vinegar, chilies-in-vinegar and banana ketchup on your lazy Susan.
- Wash and reuse disposable Styrofoam cups, plastic forks, and spoons, Christmas wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil (or
"Reynold's)
- You try to eject food particles form btwn. your teeth by pressing your tongue against them and making a peculiar noise like "tshick," "tshick," "tshick," or "pphht."
- Nibble a toothpick like dessert.
- Wave that pom-pom on a stick around the food at he picnic table to keep the flies away.
- Turn around when you hear somebody say "pssst."
- Point with your lips when asked where something or someone is; the
farther the person or object, the longer you stretch your lips.
- Make the Sign of the Cross when you pass by a Catholic church, and only a Catholic church.
- Bow low, put your hands together and point them in the direction you are walking, to pass btwn. other people who are conversing.
- Can say hello by simply raising your eyebrow.
- Answer the phone and a voice squeaks, "Pilipinas calling (your name),
will you accept the charges?"
- Have and uncle named "Boy" and an auntie named "Baby."
- Were named after the first syllables of the names of your father and
mother joined together, like Jomar or Arlin.
- Know who Sharon, Kris, Richard, Aga and Vilma are.
- Are standing next to eight big boxes at the airport.
- Lug a life-size Santo Nino statue aboard the airplane.
- Make the Sign of the Cross before take-offs and landings.
- Bring baon to eat btwn. in-flight meals.
- Are afraid to go to bed with wet hair.
- Wash your feet before going to bed.
- Always carry a handkerchief for blowing your nose.
- Arrive one to two hours late to a party- and think it's normal.
- Have a car horn that can make three or more different sounds.
- Have crocheted car-seat covers.
- Have citrus smelling car freshener.
- Have a crucifix or rosary dangling from you car's rear-view mirror.
- Decorate your car's rear window with stuffed animals.
Galing sa email na ipinadala ni: Ming Ampil
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