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Love Notes2
Dear Joe,
Good Day! I was thinking of writing to you
years back but
somehow I
never seem to bring myself to do it. But thanks
to the internet,
I can
send my message to you without having to go
through the hassles
of the
"snail mail." I used to be an avid listener of
your program but
then
my class schedule won't permit me or
even give me time to listen to your show every
Friday. But
whenever I
have time, I see to it that I don't
miss your show esp. your advices which are
really very
enlightening.
This is also the reason why I'm writing to you now.
I am 22 years old. I had my first boyfriend in
1996. I'll just
call
him Bobby. He was the only boyfriend I ever had.
Ours was one of
the
"most admired and envied relationship" in
school. We met during
our
third year in college. We didn't really hit it
off the first time
but
there was one school activity where we found
ourselves working
together. This brought us closer. 10 months after,
we became
lovers.
Whenever
our friends see us, they will always mention of
how happy we seem
to be
together, and we really were. The only problem
we had then was we
were
an "underground couple" because my parents were
not aware of him.
I am
Chinese and he's a Filipino. Like most
traditional Chinese , the
parents would never accept a Filipino into their
family. But being a
liberal-minded person, I disobeyed them and took
the risk of
loving a
Filipino guy. A year after, the first test in
our relationship
came
and everything
was
not the same again.
Ironically, it has a little
to do with the
"culture
problem." Bobby belongs to a broken family. His
parents
separated
after
he graduated from high school. His mother was
working as an
agent in
a
real estate firm. When the economy crashed in
1997, his mother
was
not
earning as much anymore and this brought bigger
problems in
their
family.
Fortunately, he had already graduated
and had starting
working, which
makes him the "breadwinner". I admit that I
belong to a
well-to-do
family and have never before experience what it
was like to be
in his
situation. We always find ourselves in constant
disagreement
over his
family's
financial status because i don't approve of his
sacrificing his
income
just to help his family. Maybe we were just
brought up
differently
although i
really sympathize with him and try to help him
in any way i can.
I
often tell him
not to always give in to his
family's demands because I noticed that his
family has become too
dependent on him and at times, less appreciative
of his efforts.
He
has
gone to the point of sacrificing his meal
allowance just so he
could
give
money to his mother. This whole setup put a
stain into our
relationship. At the end of last year, we sort of
broke up.
Actually
we
were like going on and off.
And just when I
thought I don't love
him
anymore, I found out that he was going out with
someone else.
Technically, I consider it cheating because we
never formally
broke
up.
We don't do things the same as before but we
sort of agreed that
we
would
maintain an "MU" relationship. Upon learning of
his new
girlfriend, I confronted him and asked for an
explanation. He
told me
that I was never there during the time he needed
my support
regarding
the
problem he was having with his family. And the
girl was like his
confidant and eventually he began to like her.
Suddenly realized
that
I still love him. He still does, according to him,
but he just can't
leave
her because she's the one that I never was. One
very important
factor
was
that he was warmly accepted in the girls'
family. He considers
himself
deprived of a "real family" and that he wants to
enjoy the
feeling of
belongingness with her family. He told me that
once he feels
that he
has
fully enjoyed it, he'll come back to me. I tried
begging him to
come
back
and leave the girl. I promise him that I would
be more
understanding
of
his situation and less demanding. I even agreed
to play second
fiddle.
For a month, we sneaked behind his girlfriend's
back. All along,
i
was
thinking that I can still win him back and that
I will fight for
our
love
because he told me that he loves me more than
her. And he is
just
buying
time to break things up with his girlfriend. But
I can only
withstand
it
for a time.
My conscience tells me it's not the
right thing to
do. I
know
that he would not leave her, at least not just
yet. And I cannot
bear
the
thought of him with the girl whenever they go
out or whenver he
goes
to
her house. At first, I thought I will
eventually get used to the
situation. But later on, it was already
killing me.
I casually asked him one night that
if his girlfriend
finds
out about us and agrees to be the other woman
(just like what I
was
doing)would he oblige? I was expecting him to
say that he woud
just go
back to me but I was in for a shock. He told me
that he would
agree
with
the setup.
Joe, he seems to be an entirely
different person
then.
He
was never like that before. I never had any
problems with his
attitude.
In fact, I didn't find anything wrong in his
personality. He was
the
most
selfless kind and understanding guy I knew. It
made me conclude
that
poverty sometimes brings out the worst in
people. He has
transformed
from
gud to worst. He was not the guy I fell in love
with. At that
point
then,
I knew I had to let him go. I really love him,
in fact, very
much
still.
I gave him my promise that I'm willing to wait,
not for him, but
for
the
old Bobby to come back. I used to believe in
forever but now no
good
things seem to last.
I would just like to hear some good advice
from you as to how
I can
get over him. I might never really want to
because I still care
for
him
very much. But this time, my mind has to rule
over my heart. I
would
really appreciate it if you can respond through
my e-mail since
my
classes are all in the evening and I wouldn't be
able to hear your
advice
on the radio. Thank you for your time and I hope
to hear from you
soon. More power on your show. God Bless!!!
Sincerely yours
Mario
Dear Mario,
Thanks for tuning in to my radio program and finding
it in your heart
to
confide in me......
It's not the money, the culture
barriers, or
familial
relationships nor the "other woman"....
it's really
the.........
you
have to
realize that..........
%@!$#$^% INA NAMAN, NALOLOKO KA NA BA?????? LAHAT
KAMI , SINAYANG MO ANG
ORAS.......
Joe
Galing sa email na ipinadala ni: Ariel Morales
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