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Halo-halo 6
(Pambungad lang. Tayong mga Pilipino ay mahilig tumawa. Kahit sarili natin
tinatawanan natin. Kaya naman kahit may sakuna o paghihirap, konti lang ang mga
nag-aamok o nagpapakamatay sa atin. Ang mga sumusunod ay mga halimbawa ng mga
patawa tungkol sa mga kapalpakan natin minsan. Buti na lang galing sa kapwa pinoy
ito kung hindi Giyera na.)
Did you know that filipinos named Staten Island?
They were passing by on a boat and one said, "Is staten island?"
Why did the filipino cross the road?
the sprinkler was calling it.. sht sht sht
What did one filipino monument say to the other filipino monument?
Is statue?
What's the deadliest gang in the Philippines?
the "sini" gang.
There was a Pilipino kindergarten teacher teaching her class how to do the
hokey-pokey.
She started off, "You put your right feet in, you put your right feet
out, you put your right feet in...."
Suddenly one of the children said, "Teacher
you have to say 'foot.'"
So the teacher said, "You 'foot' your right feet in, you
'foot' your right feet out....."
A filipino guy gets stopped by immigration at the airport. Immigration tells him,
"Use the words 'chicken not bread' in a sentence."
The filipino looks around, puts
a bag over a woman's head and yells,
"Chee kennot bred! Chee kennot bred!" (accent
of "she cannot breathe")
There were 3 basketball teams: the white team, the black team, and the filipino
team. They all didn't know what to call each other.
The white team decided to be
the "A" team and the filipinos were the "B" team.
What was the black team?
-the
"E" team.
WAYS TO TELL IF YOUR FILIPINO
You eat using your hands and have it down to a technique!
You nod your head upwards to greet someone.
You flirt by having a foolish grin on your face while raising your eyebrows
repeatedly.
You go to a department store and try to bargain the prices.
You find dried up morsels of rice stuck to your shirt or socks.
You put your hands together in front of you as if to make a path and say "excuse,
excuse" when you pass in between people or in front of the TV.
You are perfectly comfortable in a squatting position with your elbows resting on
your knees.
You throw rice instead of money on new years'.
You consistently arrive 30 min- an hour late for all events.
You always offer food to all your visitors.
You say "for take out" instead of "to go."
You have a satellite dish for the filipino channel.
You ask for "Colgate" instead of "toothpaste."
You say "_aray_!" instead of "ouch!"
You pronounce the following words: "hippopo-TA-mus," "com-FOR-table," "bro-CO-li,"
and "Mongo-mery Ward."
You have a tabo in the bathroom.
You look at clothes tags to see if it was made in the usa.
Your car chirps like a bird or plays a tune when it's in reverse.
You hang a rosary on your car's rear view mirror.
You have those air fresheners in a bottle or a can.
You order things like tapsilog, longsilog, or tocilog at restaurants.
Your cupboards are full of corned beef hash, Spam and Vienna Sausages.
Your neighbors complain about the smell of tuyo on Sunday mornings.
You use your fingers to measure the water when cooking rice.
You have an ice-shaver for making halo-halo.
You have a picture of the Last Supper in your dining room.
You have a huge wooden fork and spoon hanging in your kitchen.
You have a gold ship somewhere on the wall too.
You take more care of your car than your room.
You have difficulty opening doors cuz of the large pile of shoes behind it.
You have an unbelievable amount of uncles and aunties.
You eat with one leg up on the chair.
You say everything but "achoo" when you sneeze.
You pay for 2 people at a hotel, and sneak in 10.
You have relatives sending you pictures of them wearing your old clothes.
You think weddings seem extra extra long.
You notice all the dogs in your neighborhood are scared of you.
You refer to your VCR as the "Beyta-Max."
You have a supply of frozen lumpia in the freezer.
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