A prisoner donated his eyes, arms, legs and kidney.
Guard: Aba, unti-unti ka nang tumatakas ha!

Manoling's ROTC Training.

Officer: Sigaw mo Baril!
Manoling: Baril!
Officer: Sigaw mo Bato!
Manoling: Bato!
Officer: Bala!
Manoling: Bala!
Officer:Galing! Sigaw mo Lalake!
Manoling: Saaannn!!!?!!??

Q: What's the difference between Biology and Sociology?
A: When the baby look like the father, its Biology. Whan the baby looks like the neighbor, its Sociology!

Teacher: What's the color of my teeth? (Sabay smile)
Pupil: Pink!
Teacher: (Nagtataka) Again, what's the color of my teeth? (smile)
Pupil: Pink!
Teacher: Shit di ko pala suot ang pustiso ko!