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Erap goes to US
Erap, on his way to the US, decided to stop by the vendo machine by the airport lounge. He drops a few coins and out comes a can of Coke.
"Okey ito ha! "He drops a few more coins and out comes a candy bar "Ba, ayos a!"
His aide comes over to him and says, "Sir, boarding time na ho sa eroplano!"
Erap: "Wag kang magulo! Hindi mo bang nakikita na nananalo pa ako
--Bwisit!!!"
Finally, he boards the plane with a bag full of coke and chocolate
bars. He goes directly into first class. The stewardess (pinay)
was alarmed and tells the Purser, "Sir, the Vice President, Erap is
seated in first class. His ticket is only business. What shall we
do?" The purser takes a minute and says, "Don't worry, I'll take care of
it". The purser approaches Erap who is fidgeting with his seatbelts.
PURSER: "Good morning ser....saan kayo papunta???
Erap: "Sa America...bakit?"
PURSER: "Naku ser, sa likod nalang ho kayo umupo at doon ang papunta
sa America...dito sa harap ang papuntang Japan!
Erap: "Ah ganoon ba...buti sinabi mo...sige, lilipat na ako!"
Seated between a Japanese and German businessmen, Erap listens to
the two. The German, talking in his native language, had on a
headgear. The Japanese asked the German "Kore wa des ka?...what is
that?"
German: "Hiel...dezz iz nothing. It iz zee latest technology
ien Germany...the headsvone! I am talking to mine headquarters in
zee Berlin."
The Japanese, not to be outdone, also started talking in his native
language. The German asked him, "Vhat is dhat?"
The Jap says proudly, "Ano ne..kore wa is latest Japanese technology in
Japan!
Have mic implant in tongue...and speaker in ear. I speak to office in
Tokyo...neh."
ERAP, irked by the two other nationalities started to do a slow and
looong fart. "....TRRRRRRR,TRRRR..PURURUUUUUUUT!"
The two businessmen closing their noses say...."&?%$#@! What's that
sound???"
Erap says proudly,"Ah that, that's nothing. I was only sending a
fax to the President!"
On his arrival in SFO, Erap notices a long queue in the immigration area.
He glances and sees a shorter queue that read... "OLYMPIC
ATHLETES ONLY" "Aba,doon na ako pipila...hehe"
He instructs his aides to look for sport props. The first aide,
carrying a hubcap, goes through. His excuse...discus
thrower.
Erap: "Aba ayos yon ah!" The second aide also goes through with a
mop pole. His excuse...javelin thrower.
Erap: "Aba...mahusay din."
"Teka muna, bise presidente ako ng Pilipins. Dapat hindi basta
basta lang ang sports ko!! Dapat cultured ng konti." He goes around
and finds a bundle of barbed wire. "Ayos
ito...tamang tama." He goes directly to
the immigration area.
Immigration Officer: "Sorry sir, this queue is only for
athletes....
What's your excuse?"
Erap: Showing him the barbed wire with a wide grin... "FENCING!"
Galing sa email na ipinadala ni: Hazel Flores
Pindutin ITO para bumalik sa listahan.
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