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Erap 8
How are a San Miguel beer bottle and Erap alike?
They are both empty from the neck up.
Why does Erap keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?
They are for those who don't drink!
How do you confuse Erap?
Stick him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner.
Why did the Erap stare at a can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.
Why was the Erap proud for finishing a puzzle in only six months?
The box said "2 to 4 years!"
Why does Erap always smile during lightning storms?
He thinks his picture is being taken.
Why does Erap have "TGIF" written on his shoes?
Toes Go In First.
How can you tell when Erap sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
Why can't Erap dial 911?
He can not find the eleven on the phone!
What do you do if Erap throws a pin at you?
Run like hell, he's got a grenade in his mouth!
How can you tell if Erap has been using your computer?
There are white-out (snowpake) all over the monitor.
How do you get Erap on the roof?
Tell him the drinks are on the house.
Why is it good to have Erap as a passenger in your car?
You can park in the handicap zone.
Why did God give Erap one more brain cell than He gave horses?
So he wouldn't shit during parades.
Why shouldn't Erap have coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain him.
Why does Erap like a BMW better than a Volkswagen?
He can spell BMW.
How did Erap break his leg raking leaves?
He fell out of the tree.
Why did Erap instruct his maid to change his baby's diaper only once
a month?
Because it says right on the package that it's good for up to 20
pounds.
Why doesn't Erap eat Jell-O?
Because he can't figure out how to get 2 cups of water into those
little packages.
If Erap and Cory are tossed off a building, who hits the ground
first?
Cory...Erap has to stop to ask for directions.
Why did Erap tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills.
Why did Erap always wear condoms on his ears every time he has sex?
So he wouldn't get hearing aids.
What did Erap do when he heard that 90% of accidents occur around
the home?
He moved.
Why did Erap get fired from his job at the M & M's factory?
He kept throwing out the Ws.
Erap and Tito Sotto were observed in a parking lot trying to unlock
the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
Tito: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Erap: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, it's starting to
rain and the top is down!
Erap, who is tired of being thought of as dumb, disguised himself with beard and sunglasses. To prove his point, he goes to a sheep ranch and asks the sheep herder if he can guess the number of sheep in his herd, can he have one?
The herder says "Go ahead".
He looks at the herd and says, "352 sheep".
The sheep herder is amazed and said to pick any sheep he wanted.
As Erap is ready to leave the sheep herder says, "If I can guess who
you are, can I have my dog back"?
Erap was at a black tie party along with Reli German who supplied him
with
a constant flow of Blue Label. All the gentlemen came in black jackets,
white shirts and black ties and the ladies in black gowns.
Erap thought it was a boring party so he kept drinking his Blue Label to
get him through the night.
Then he saw a lady in a white gown.
"Reli, that's the lady I like", Erap said. "She is a non conformist and
a
rebel. I think I will ask her for
a dance."
"Madam, would you care to dance with the Vice president of the
Philippines?" Erap asked.
The lady in white replied, "No and I will give you three reasons why."
"Reason number one, I don't know how to dance."
"That's a legitimate reason," Erap remarked.
"Reason number two, you are drunk" the lady continued.
"That's your
opinion," Erap said.
"Reason number three, I am Cardinal Sin."
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