He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his shirt and throws it away as well. His pants, socks and watch follow suit.

The nurse, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.

"Miss, I am only following the instructions," he says, "it says here, "Answer the following questions in brief'."

Erap just arrived from the Philippines for a summit meeting with Bill abd Boris in New York City. Bill & Boris were on a drinking binge that they lost track of the time of the day. When they came to meet Erap they ask him if the bright thing in the sky was either the sun or the moon.

Erap shyly muttered:" Sorry folks, I'm not from this place, I just arrived"

Once Erap was filling up an application form for a job.

He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc. Then he the column SEX. He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote THRICE A WEEK.

On seeing this in his application. form, he was told that it was wrong and what they wanted it to be filled was either MALE or FEMALE. Again Erap thought for a long time before coming up with the answer PREFERABLY FEMALES.

Our Philippine president attended the United Nations' Meeting. All nations were discussing about space exploration by the year 2000. Here are some of the conversations:

CHINA DELEGATE:"By the year 2000, China will start their moon exploration project. "

RUSSIAN DELEGATE:" We too, we are going to explore the moon. This time we will see to it that our cosmonauts will step on the moon."

BILL CLINTON: " We the United States will also explore the moon for the second time."

ERAP:" By the year 2000, the Philippines will explore the sun."

There was a long silence, Bill Clinton stood up and asked the Philippine President: " Isn't it too hot to explore the sun?"

ERAP:( after a long silence replied: " We will do it in the evening."

Every one knows that President Erap is superstitious. While he was in Kuala Lumpur for the APEC meeting, he is asked by Filipino reporters if he�s going back to the Philippines on Saturday. He looks at the calendar but misreads the date.

"Hindi, ayoko. Friday the 13th pala sa Sabado".

Estrellita Bituin had a hard time breathing and Erap called 911 right away. The 911 operator told Erap that she would send someone out right away.

"Where do you live?" asked the operator.