"Mama, at the corner, para."

One guy was buying ham from Excellente in Quiapo and instructed how he wants his ham done.

"Pare, don't take the 'jamon' out too early... I want my 'jamon' tostado, pare..."

One girl with her slow maid:

"I'm going to make pokpok your hhheaaaadddddd..... "

During the EB in Tito Tito's, someone said:

"Sir, may I be excused? I have poo-poo under my shoe!!!!"
and...
"Hey!! did you cut your buhok?!?"

Aside from the infamous tusok-tusok......

"I dont like the fishballs... they're not lutong yet...."
"Can you make-bantay my things"...
"Sige surely....i'll make bantay ur things... "
"Sorry na lang if it gets wala ha... "

Another jeepney quote... (di yata alam pumara...)

"Stop lang please. Stop!"

My 8-yr old brother at a wake we attend :
"Ano ba kayo... you're making me tawa naman e!!! "
"Ma, when I die, I want to be burol-ed here!"

In a lonnngggggg line:

"Mommy, i'll make pila na coz its mahaba super"

While referring to lengua:
"Kadiri!!! Yucky ha! You're actually making kagat the freaking dila of a watchmacallit

To her driver:

"Hey manong driver, can you just make potpot na the car, manang is to tagal to make run eh."

At the movies:

"Grabe!!! Have you seen na *movie* (forgot)? It's so kaka-cry. I think I made iyak a gallon of tears when I was watching."

Summer blues:

"Arghh...grabe it's so init! Like being made sunog in a microwave! Manang, can you make me paypay before I get himatay on the yucky ground? Please..."

This one is about this mother who wants to BE cono...but fails miserably!!

SETTING: McDonalds Katipunan The mother was telling her son not to go to the play area since she was in a hurry. But her son still went and a while later came back crying since he fell or hit his head or something... Then the mother goes (in a very cono accent):

Told you not to go to, you go to, Look at!!
(TRANSLATION: she wanted to say: "Sabi na ngang huwag kang pumunta dun, pumunta ka pa, tingnan mo [anong nangyari]")

Sa school:

"Will i see you LATER MAMAYA?"
and then sa lab,he goes...
"fire fire!! buhusan mo ng water!!"

sabi nung isang Prof

"ok class let's form a straight circle"

Asking us to do a test ourselves:

"Ok class, SELF YOUR TEST." (ano?)

Drafting teacher in high school:
Pinagagalitan dalawang students:

"Because of what you did, I want to see your parents tomorrow - RIGHT NOW!" (kelan ba talaga?)

sa Hard Rock may mga Burgis na nakikipag sayaw sa mga Girls...

Boy pakonyo1: "Hey Dude! your sweating na, wala ka bang panyo"
Boy pakonyo2: "Dude! borrow naman ng keys, naiwan ko kse sa CAR yung HUNKY ko eh!..."
(Utang na Loob!!!! )

Weather is bad one Friday morning:
"Anak, call your elementary, ask if you have pasok!"
waahhhhhhhhahahahahahahaha...

Animals:

"How cute naman is the aso! " what about this...
"Yuck naman, how baboy the pig!!!"

Conyo sa saleslady...

"Miss, magkano this?"

Baho:

"yuck! that's mabaho! i'm gonna suka if i smell that again!

Sunduan:

"Got to go, My driver's making potpot na!"

Tagpuan:

"Hurry, ha. baka naman i'll make-bulok there!"

Conio student to classmates: (reporting on a province assigned by the prof; reading the web-lifted literature)

"so, the Ilocanos are famous for their tobacco plantations.
(Then attempts to explain)
"So parang, debba? ang job nila e mag-plant ng tobacco, yah, it's like that naman debba?"

"Oh my God, there's a floating jebs (crap) in the anidoro!!!!"

"don't u have Californiacation by that Red Hot Silly People?? "

"hey guess what! I went to Ever G kanina!"
(TRANSLATION: Ever Gotesco is what that person meant)
"Grabe, gusto ko nang mag go home!"

"Where did my driver go?! Kainis naman! Why did have to go paikot-ikot pa?!"

"Help! I can't breathe! I'm sophisticating in here!"
(Suffocating daw, tuluyan nyo na ngang sakalin)

I had a teacher who got pissed-off on us when we were still in high school. He told us na:

"Ano ba kayo!?, Simple follow cannot instructions!"

Unloading the baggages to the pushcart.

"Ay yung isa pang package" .

Si asawa naman kinuha sa labas ng bus... tapos biglang hirit si misis...

"ilagay mo nalang siya dyan sa down"

Pa conio wife in the labor room .

"HELLO everyone, I'm in PAIN here..hello.. like duh i'm in great pain here" .
(bigyan nyo ng martilyo, ihampas nya kamo sa ulo niya)

I guess 1 day this girl's driver wasn't there to pick her up on time. So she told her friend this.....

"You make para-para the jeep na so we can go home already."

"Hoy miss, alis ka dyan sa kalsada! Muntik na kitang mabangga, ah!!!"
"It's your fault naman driver, eh. You don't make potpot!"
(sagasaan mo na kasi e)

Overheard at Barney's New York (a place where everthing they sell is what i want but can't afford):

miss conio girl #1: "Gosh, u have to make tingin at the really cute bag doon. It's so ganda!! i have to get that for my barkada.. she's going to go loko"
miss conio girl #2: "Yah.. grabe noh? i wish mommy didn't make putol my credit card..i'll make bili na that bag sana.. i like it too eh.. hay naku, i have to like hintay for next month to get my baon...kaasar!"

Overheard: "Ay, my phone's not double band kasi eh"
Neng, dual yon!

Sa dress shop:

"Wow, that looks so maganda on you, seriously, totoo nga , napaka-bonggacious ever"

Kumusta daw:

"How is you?"

A high school student, went to the college chapel. there was this girl that approached him.

The girl asks: "Excuse me, do you know where the (name of school building)is?"
the student answered back, kinda didnt know what to do and what to say:
"Sorry, I am not here." the girl just nodded and politely said "Thanks, anyway."

the 2nd year highschool students on their reaction about the Moffats:

student 1: "Grabeeeeee! Moffats are soo very cute!!! Especially the bass guy!!"
student 2: "As if naman mas cuter si naglalaro ng piano!!! "
student 3: "Did u watched the concert? they're so grabeee! nakakainlove!! "

EXCLUSIVE SCHOOL FOR GIRLS:

Teacher: "Please get one whole sheet of bond paper. Take note that I don't want to see any kind of erasure. "
Student: "Miss, pwede liquid paper na lang? "
Teacher: "I said bond paper! "
(Iyan kasi ang tigas ng ulo! )

LAST NA:

grabe!!! u guys are so kakatawa naman!!! don't be like that na noh, or my stomach will make sakit na even more pa!!!
(more na pa pa!)