Subject: Bayani Balita #80
Date: Tue, 20 Jul 2004 12:58:08 +0800
From: Super Perez <super@bayani.com>
To: Balita <bayanibalita@yahoogroups.com>
Kaibigan,
Mabuhay!
Kung mayroon kayong nais makita, patawang nais ibahagi o maging
ano man pati na ang magbuhos kayo ng sama ng loob :^), sumulat
lamang sa sulat@bayani.com.
Bisita kayo sa website ha, Bayani.com. Sali na rin kayo sa
discussion groups doon. Puwede rin kayo bumisita sa
Perezoptical.com at TheShopCenter.com.
Pasensiya na, may sakit ako. Di ko kayang magbigay ng aliw :) Ito
na lang mga pinadala sa akin ang magpapatawa sa inyo.
===============
Mas Bobo
Isang araw, nag-uusap yung dalawang mag-kaibigan, si Joey at si
Mark.
Joey: Alam mo, Mark, talagang napaka-bobo ng boy naming si Pedro.
Mark: Wala iyan! Sinisiguro ko sa iyo, mas bobo yung boy naming
si Jose.
Nag-talo silang dalawa....
Joey: O sige, patutunayan ko sa iyo a. Watch this! PEDRO, 'ALIKA
RITO!
Pedro: Yes sir! What can I do to you?
Joey: Eto piso, bumili ka ng apat na case ng beer.
Pedro: Yes boss! Coming up!
Joey: O Mark, bilib ka na ba sa kabobohan niyan, piso--bibila
siya ng apat na case ng beer.
Mark: Wala pa rin iyan kay Jose, ikaw naman ang manood....JOSE,
'ALIKA RITO SANDALI!
Jose: Yes Sir! Ano po iyon!?
Mark: Pumunta ka sa opisina ko, tignan mo kung nandoon ako....
Jose: Yes Sir! Pupunta na po ako!
Mark: O Joey, kita mo naman na mas bobo pa iyan kaysa kay
Pedro....
Later, nag salubong yung dalawang boy.....
Pedro: Jose, alam mo ang bobo talaga ng amo kong si Sir Joey....
Jose: Wala iyan....mas bobo si Boss Mark ko.
Pedro: Hinde! Mas bobo si Sir Joey, isipin mo, binigyan ako ng
piso para
bumili ako ng APAT na case ng beer......e, alam naman niyang
HINDI KO KAYA BUHATIN IYON NANG MAG-ISA!!!!!!!
Jose: Mas bobo naman si Boss Mark noh! Pinapupunta pa ako sa
opisina niya para tignan kung nadoon siye....e, MAY TELEPONO
NAMAN!
Galing sa email ni Lydia Rodriguez
===============
Alagaan ang inyong mata. Magpatingin sa Perez optical
(http://www.perezoptical.com). Hanapin sa site ang discount
coupon.
===============
Mga Katoto:
With no sight of an ending to the hostage drama in Sulu, the
government should better make use & hire the members of the
Abu Sayyaf movement. Erap can assimilate them to the government
service.
Those who have the following qualifications and experiences
would be assigned to the following agencies of the government:
Dept. of Justice - Abu Gado
Dept. of National Defense - Abu Rido
Dept. of Finance - Abu Nado
Dept. of Social Welfare - Abu Loy
Bureau of Customs - Abu Tan
Phil. National Police - Abu Sado
Fire Department - Abu Gatong
Department of Agriculture - Abu Kado
Air Force - Abu Tin
Galing sa email ni Atcheng
===============
Domain name registration and virtual servers at
http://WebWorksCo.com
===============
CONIOTICS
(Pangsira ng araw)
There was this rich girl who wasn't used to commuting. One day,
she
was going someplace near and was forced to ride a jeep. When she
was already at the place she was supposed to get off, this is
what she said:
"Mama, at the corner, para."
One guy was buying ham from Excellente in Quiapo and instructed
how
he wants his ham done.
"Pare, don't take the 'jamon' out too early... I want
my 'jamon' tostado, pare..."
One girl with her slow maid:
"I'm going to make pokpok your
hhheaaaadddddd..... "
During the EB in Tito Tito's, someone said:
"Sir, may I be excused? I have poo-poo under my shoe!!!!"
and...
"Hey!! did you cut your buhok?!?"
Aside from the infamous tusok-tusok......
"I dont like the fishballs... they're not lutong yet...."
"Can you make-bantay my things"...
"Sige surely....i'll make bantay ur things... "
"Sorry na lang if it gets wala ha... "
Another jeepney quote... (di yata alam pumara...)
"Stop lang please. Stop!"
My 8-yr old brother at a wake we attend :
"Ano ba kayo... you're making me tawa naman e!!! "
"Ma, when I die, I want to be burol-ed here!"
In a lonnngggggg line:
"Mommy, i'll make pila na coz its mahaba super"
While referring to lengua:
"Kadiri!!! Yucky ha! You're actually making kagat the
freaking dila of a watchmacallit
To her driver:
"Hey manong driver, can you just make potpot na
the car, manang is to tagal to make run eh."
At the movies:
"Grabe!!! Have you seen na *movie* (forgot)? It's so
kaka-cry. I think I made iyak a gallon of tears when I was
watching."
Summer blues:
"Arghh...grabe it's so init! Like being made sunog in a
microwave! Manang, can you make me paypay before I get himatay
on the yucky ground? Please..."
This one is about this mother who wants to BE cono...but fails
miserably!!
SETTING: McDonalds Katipunan
The mother was telling her son not to go to the play area since
she was in a hurry. But her son still went and a while later
came back crying since he fell or hit his head or something...
Then the mother goes (in a very cono accent):
Told you not to go to, you go to, Look at!!
(TRANSLATION: she wanted to say: "Sabi na ngang huwag kang
pumunta dun, pumunta ka pa, tingnan mo [anong nangyari]")
Sa school:
"Will i see you LATER MAMAYA?"
and then sa lab,he goes...
"fire fire!! buhusan mo ng water!!"
sabi nung isang Prof
"ok class let's form a straight circle"
Asking us to do a test ourselves:
"Ok class, SELF YOUR TEST." (ano?)
Drafting teacher in high school:
Pinagagalitan dalawang students:
"Because of what you did, I want to see your parents
tomorrow - RIGHT NOW!" (kelan ba talaga?)
sa Hard Rock may mga Burgis na nakikipag sayaw sa mga Girls...
Boy pakonyo1: "Hey Dude! your sweating na, wala ka bang
panyo"
Boy pakonyo2: "Dude! borrow naman ng keys, naiwan ko
kse sa CAR yung HUNKY ko eh!..."
(Utang na Loob!!!! )
Weather is bad one Friday morning:
"Anak, call your elementary, ask if you have pasok!"
waahhhhhhhhahahahahahahaha...
Animals:
"How cute naman is the aso! "
what about this...
"Yuck naman, how baboy the pig!!!"
Conyo sa saleslady...
"Miss, magkano this?"
Baho:
"yuck! that's mabaho! i'm gonna suka if i smell that again!
Sunduan:
"Got to go, My driver's making potpot na!"
Tagpuan:
"Hurry, ha. baka naman i'll make-bulok there!"
Conio student to classmates: (reporting on a province assigned
by the prof reading the web-lifted literature) "so, the Ilocanos
are famous for their tobacco plantations.
(Then attempts to explain) "So parang, debba? ang job nila e
mag-plant ng tobacco, yah, it's like that naman debba?"
"Oh my God, there's a floating jebs (crap) in the
anidoro!!!!"
"don't u have Californiacation by that Red Hot Silly
People?? "
"hey guess what! I went to Ever G kanina!"
(TRANSLATION: Ever Gotesco is what that person meant)
"Grabe, gusto ko nang mag go home!"
"Where did my driver go?! Kainis naman! Why did have to
go paikot-ikot pa?!"
"Help! I can't breathe! I'm sophisticating in here!"
(Suffocating daw, tuluyan nyo na ngang sakalin)
I had a teacher who got pissed-off on us when we were still in
high
school. He told us na:
"Ano ba kayo!?, Simple follow cannot instructions!"
Unloading the baggages to the pushcart.
"Ay yung isa pang package" .
Si asawa naman kinuha sa labas ng bus... tapos biglang hirit si
misis...
"ilagay mo nalang siya dyan sa down"
Pa conio wife in the labor room .
"HELLO everyone, I'm in PAIN here..hello.. like duh i'm
in great pain here" .
(bigyan nyo ng martilyo, ihampas nya kamo sa ulo niya)
I guess 1 day this girl's driver wasn't there to pick her up on
time. So she told her friend this.....
"You make para-para the jeep na so we can go home
already."
"Hoy miss, alis ka dyan sa kalsada! Muntik na kitang
mabangga, ah!!!"
"It's your fault naman driver, eh. You don't make potpot!"
(sagasaan mo na kasi e)
Overheard at Barney's New York (a place where everthing they
sell is what i want but can't afford):
miss conio girl #1: "Gosh, u have to make tingin at the
really cute bag doon. It's so ganda!! i have to get that for my
barkada.. she's going to go loko"
miss conio girl #2: "Yah.. grabe noh? i wish mommy didn't
make putol my credit card..i'll make bili na that bag sana.. i
like it too eh.. hay naku, i have to like hintay for next month
to get my baon...kaasar!"
Overheard: "Ay, my phone's not double band kasi eh"
Neng, dual yon!
Sa dress shop:
"Wow, that looks so maganda on you, seriously, totoo nga,
napaka-bonggacious ever"
Kumusta daw:
"How is you?"
A high school student, went to the college chapel. there was
this
girl that approached him.
The girl asks: "Excuse me, do you know where the (name
of school building)is?"
the student answered back, kinda didnt know what to do and what
to
say:
"Sorry, I am not here."
the girl just nodded and politely said "Thanks, anyway."
the 2nd year highschool students on their reaction about the
Moffats:
student 1: "Grabeeeeee! Moffats are soo very cute!!!
Especially the bass guy!!"
student 2: "As if naman mas cuter si naglalaro ng piano!!! "
student 3: "Did u watched the concert? they're so
grabeee! nakakainlove!! "
EXCLUSIVE SCHOOL FOR GIRLS:
Teacher: "Please get one whole sheet of bond paper.
Take note that I don't want to see any kind of erasure. "
Student: "Miss, pwede liquid paper na lang? "
Teacher: "I said bond paper! "
(Iyan kasi ang tigas ng ulo! )
LAST NA:
grabe!!! u guys are so kakatawa naman!!! don't be
like that na noh, or my stomach will make sakit na even more
pa!!!
(more na pa pa!)
PANAWAGAN:
Kung makarinig lagi po kayo ng mga taong ganito
magsalita, sapakin nyo agad ng magising sa ilusyon
nila.SALAMAT!!!!
GAWIN NYO HA!!!! at maawa kayo burahin nyo na sa mga isip nyo ang
mga taga Assumption Antipolo sapagkat di sila ganito!!!!!
Tanungin nyo ang (Deletd by Moderator), siguradong marami ang
masasapak nyo dun!!!!!!!
Galing sa email ni: Bee Manzano Aguila
===============
Gusto niyo mag-shopping? Magpunta sa http://TheShopCenter.com.
===============
Nakalista sa http://www.bayani.com/patawa
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Inyong lingkod,
Super Perez
Tagapamahala
http://www.bayani.com
http://web.ph - Pinoy portal
http://theshopcenter.com - International online shopping Mall
http://philshopping.com - Philippine Online Mall
http://webworksco.com - Web Works website design, site hosting,
domain registration and internet consultancy
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