Subject: Bayani.com Balita #33
Date: 27 Sep 99 01:34:34 +-0800
From: "Bayani.com"<sulat@bayani.com>
To: "Bayani.com Listahan"@cvt.csi.com.ph
Kaibigan,
Mabuhay!
Kung mayroon kayong nais makita, patawang nais ibahagi o maging ano man pati
na ang magbuhos kayo ng sama ng loob :^), sumulat lamang sa
sulat@bayani.com.
May nagpadala sa Balitaan (http://www.bayani.com/balitaan) na milyon milyon
daw ang regalo sa Anak at Manugang ni Erap noong ikinasal sila. Ang galing
naman kung totoo ito. Gaya nga nung sinabi, mas kailangan ng mahirap ang
perang iyon kaysa sa kanila pero pera nila yon at hindi sa bayan. Sana
magkaroon sila ng pusong-bayani sila at tumulong sa taong bayan.
Oo nga pala. Inayos ko na po ang Balitaan. Yung nagpadala ng tungkol sa
regalo ang sumulat sa akin na may diprensya daw. Salamat, Kaibigang Sindak.
Sana makilahok kayo sa usapan doon para marinig namin ang panig o opinyon
ninyo.
May bagong Bastos #5. Magpadala lang ng blankong email sa autoresponder sa
bastos@bayani.com.
Eto na po ang mga patawa.
===============
Ano ang Filipino translation ng sex?
Clue: Starts with the letter K...naisip mo na?
Come on you can do it......
The answer is...kasarian. Dirty mind, ha!
+++++++++
An alcoholic son's letter to his Dad:
Beer dad,
Gin na 'ko mag-iinom whisky kelan man. Tanduayan mo yan.
Your son,
Miguel.
+++++++++
In the Paradise of Eden:
EVE: Adan do you really love me?
ADAN: Gaga! Ba't meron pa bang iba?!
+++++++++
Pugo: Itay sabi nila pag nakaharap ako kamukha ko si Jose Rizal, pag
naka-sideview kamukha ko naman si Manuel Roxas? Ano ho ibig sabihin non?
Tatay ni Pugo: Mukha kang pera.
+++++++++
Pugo: Bakit bawal sa mga kalbo ang mag-turtle neck?
Kikay: Dahil magmu-mukha silang roll-on.
Galing kay melodramatic_fool
===============
Alagaan ang inyong mga mata. Magpagawa ng computer glasses sa Perez
Optical. http://www.perezoptical.com
Hindi lahat ng Perez Optical mayroon ng mga ito.
===============
In a second grade class, a little girl asks, "Teacher, can my Mommy get
pregnant?"
"How old is your mother, dear?" asks the teacher.
"Forty."
"Yes, dear, your mother could get pregnant."
The little girl then asks, "Can my big sister get pregnant?"
"Well, dear, how old is your sister?"
The little girl answers, "Nineteen."
"Oh yes, dear, your sister certainly could get pregnant."
The little girl then asks, "Can I get pregnant?"
"How old are you, dear?"
The little girl answers, "I'm seven years old."
"No, dear, you can't get pregnant..."
Then, then her classmate Erap who is standing behind her gives her a poke
and says, "See, I told you we had nothing to worry about."
+++++++++
WHAT SHE SAYS VS. WHAT SHE MEANS :
She says: "Bahala ka."
She means: "Pagsisisihan mo ito."
She says: "Sure, go ahead."
She means: "I don't want you to."
She says: "Hindi ako galit."
She means: "Galit ako"
She says: "I just want a stable future."
She means: "I want to be rich."
She says: "Hindi ka marunong makinig."
She means: "Sumunod ka sa gusto ko."
She says: "Mahal mo ba ako?"
She means: "May ipabibili ako."
She says: "Gaano mo ako kamahal?"
She means: "Sabihin mong ako ang pinakamagandang babae
sa balat ng lupa."
She says: "I'll be ready in five minutes."
She means: "I'll be ready in one hour."
She says: "Nakikinig ka ba?"
She means: "Sumunod ka na kasi sa gusto ko."
She says: "Magsine tayo sa SM."
She means: "Magsha-shopping ako."
She says: "Simple lang ang gusto ko sa buhay."
She means: "Alahas, kotse, mansion sa Alabang."
WHEN ASKED BY HER BOYFRIEND : "May ginawa ba ako?"
SHE SAYS ONE THING BUT MEANS ANOTHER AS YOU CAN SEE :
She says: "Wala"
She means: "Marami."
She says: "Ayokong pag-usapan."
She means: "Bumubuwelo pa ako."
She says: "Wala talaga."
She means: "Hayup ka!"
She says: "Wala. Talagang-talaga."
She means: "Gusto ko nang mag-break."
WHAT HE SAYS VS. WHAT HE MEANS :
He says: "Gutom ako."
He means: "Gutom ako."
He says: "Inaantok ako."
He means: "Inaantok ako."
He says: "Pagod ako."
He means: "Pagod ako."
He says: "Gusto mo bang kumain?"
He means: "Gusto kong kumain."
He says: "Talagang gusto mo ang sineng ito?"
He means: "Ang corny."
He says: "What's wrong?"
He means: "Hay naku, heto na nanaman tayo."
He says: "OK naman ang haircut mo."
He means: "Ngiii!!!"
He says: "May nasabi ba ako?"
He means: "Tama na nga iyan."
He says: "Mag-usap tayo."
He means: "Makinig ka. Magsasalita ako."
WHAT HE SAYS WHEN SHOPPING WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND :
He says: "Hindi bagay sa iyo."
He means: "Masyadong mahal."
He says: "Maganda iyan."
He means: "Mura."
He says: "Bagay na bagay sa iyo. Bilhin mo na."
He means: "Gusto ko nang umuwi."
+++++++++
WebWorks internet website hosting. http://i.am/webhosting. Mura na mabilis
pa.
+++++++++
Joseph Estrada goes to Washington for a meeting with Bill Clinton.
After dinner, Bill says to Joseph " Well Joe, I don't know what you think of
the members of your Cabinet, but mine are all bright and brilliant."
"How do you know ?" asks Joseph Estrada.
"Oh well, it's simple", says Bill. "They all have to take special tests
before they can be a minister. Wait a second".
He calls Madeleine Albright over and says to her. "Tell me Madeleine, who is
the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is
not your sister ?"
Ah, that's simple Mr. President", says Madeleine, "it is me!"
"Well done, Madeleine," says Clinton.
Joseph Estrada is very impressed. He returns to the Philippines and wonders
about the intelligence of the members of his Cabinet.
He calls in Defense Secretary Orlando Mercado and says: "Orly, tell me, who
is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and
is not your sister ?"
Orly thinks and thinks and doesn't know the answer. "Can I think about it a
bit further ? May I let you know tomorrow ?"
"Of course," says Estrada, "you've got 24 hours."
Defense Secretary Orlando Mercado goes away, thinks as hard as he can, calls
in his team, but no one knows the answer. 20 hours later, Orly is very
worried - still no answer and has only 4 hours to go.
Eventually Orlando Mercado says, "I'll ask Interior Secretary Ronaldo Puno.
He's clever, he'll know the answer."
He calls Puno. "Interior Secretary Ronaldo," he says, "Tell me who is the
child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not
your sister?"
"Very simple", says Ronaldo, "it's me!"
"Of course" says Orly and calls President Joseph Estrada.
"Mr. President", says Orly, "I've got the answer: "It's Interior Secretary
Ronaldo Puno.
"No, you idiot", says President Estrada, "It's Madeleine Albright".
Padala ni Ariel Morales
Nakalista sa http://www.bayani.com/patawa
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