Subject: Bayani.com Balita #28
Date: 09 Sep 99 10:12:56 +-0800
From: "Bayani.com"<sulat@bayani.com>
To: "Bayani.com Listahan"@mail2.info.com.ph
Kaibigan,
Mabuhay!
sulat@bayani.com = ang inyong hotline para sa amin.
May nakita akong katawa-tawa na pahayagan noong lunes.
Sabi daw ni Erap na dapat maging kasing "faithful" niya ang
mamamayan ng Pilipinas. Hehe e di para na ring ginawang
legal ang polygamy.
Salamat sa pasensya na naulit ang padala ng #27. Ayos na
po ang problema.
May bagong mga tula. Isa dito ang padala ni "Super Pedro"
na ang pangalan ay "Ang Chicharon at Instant Noodles." Isa
pa ang "The True Filipino" ni Carlos Seletaria. Nasa
http://bayani.com/kuta po ito kasama ng iba.
Malapit rin pong idagdag and ilang mga tula ng mga batang
nasa ika-4 hanggang ika-6 na baitang sa Little Nazareth
School sa Lipa City na ipinadala sa amin. Sayang at hindi
ko po mailagay ang powerpoint presentation nila dahil sa
laking 4MB pero matutuwa pa rin kayo sa kanilang mga
isinulat.
Imbis na "search" sa pambungad na pahina may nagsabi na
gamitin ko raw ang salitang saliksik. May iba pa bang
salita na aangkop sa "search?" Mukhang tama yung saliksik
pero hindi ako siguradong-sigurado. Salamat Binibining
Arlene B.
Nasa ibaba po ang isang artikulong isinulat ni Alex S.
Fabros, Jr. na ang titulo ay "Searching For The Presence Of
Filipinos In The Americas Prior To 1620." Kung maisiwalat
ito, e dapat tumaas ang noo ng ating mga kapuwa Pilipino sa
Estados Unidos.
Eto na ang mga patawa. Ang dami yatang Erap jokes ngayon e
ididispatsa ko na muna po ang mga ito.
===============
Erap In Olympics
Si Erap nung siya pa ay VP ng Pilipinas as naging Keynote
Speaker sa Opening Ceremonies ng 100th Oympics sa Atlanta,
Georgia nung 1996.
Sa stage, of course, nandun si Bill Clinton, VP Al Gore at
ang ating bida na si ERAP...wala si FVR.
Start ng Ceremony:
EMCEE: Athletes, Ladies and Gentlemen, Good evening. We are
gathered here tonite to witness the greatest moment of the
history of the Olympics, which is to celebrate this year
the 100th year of Olympics....only here in Atlanta,
Georgia.
Lahat ng mga athletes ay excited na excited na....pero si
ERAP ay pinapawisn ng husto dahil wala pa ang kanyang
scriptwriter at wala siyang kaalam-alam sa Olympics.
EMCEE: At this point, I would like to introduce to you our
guest speaker. He is now other than the Vice President of
the Republic of the Philippines, VP Joseph "Erap" Estrada.
Of course, nagpapalakpakan ang lahat ng mga athletes lalo
na ang mga Pinoy....at nagsigawan ng "ERAP, ERAP,
ERAP....."
Si ERAP naman ay balisang-balisa na dahil wala pa kasi ang
kanyang speechwriter...pero walang magawa si ERAP kundi
pumunta sa speaker stand at nagsalita...
ERAP (with his golden voice.. habang naalala niya ang
kanyang speech choir piece nung sya ay nasa kolehiyo pa):
FRIENDS! ATHLETES! FILIPINOS! LEND ME YOUR EARS!!!
At lahat ng mga Pinoy ay nagsigawan uli nga "ERAP, ERAP,
ERAP.....".. pero si ERAP ay hirap na hirap na dahil wala
pa rin ang kanyang speechwriter.....
ERAP (pinapawisan habang inuulit ang intro):
FRIENDS!.....(nang dumating ang kanyang
speechwriter)....Sabi niya sa sarili: Ay Salamat!!
SPEECHWRITER: Mr. Vice President, heto na ho ang script
nyo..
ERAP: (inuilit na naman ang into): FRIENDS! ATHLETES!
FILIPINOS! LEND ME YOUR EARS!!!
At nagsisigawan na naman ang mga Pinoy : "ERAP, ERAP,
ERAP....."..
ERAP (binasa ang nakalagay sa script): "O"..."O"...
Nagtaka ang mga tao.. pati na sina Bill Clinton at Al
Gore...
Patuloy pa rin si ERAP: "O"....
Nagtaka rin ang speechwriter at pinuntahan si ERAP, at
nakita nya ang binasa ni ERAP.
SPEECHWRITER: Eh, Mr. Vice President, hindi ho yan kasali
sa speech mo..
ERAP: Ha! Bakit?? Ano ba yan?
SPEECHWRITER: Hehe, LOGO ho yan ng OLYMPICS.... (tinukoy
ang 5 colored rings nga Logo ng Olympics)
by: KATOL
==================
Bisitahin niyo rin ang website ng Optical ng aking mga
magulang. http://www.perezoptical.com. Kung kailangan
niyo ng salamin, nandoon sila sa Cubao simula 10 ng umaga
hanggang 8 ng gabi araw araw.
==================
Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and Erap are
walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill.
Who picks it up?
A2: None of them. There is no such thing as Santa
Claus, the Tooth Fairy and Erap thought it was a gum
wrapper.
Q: What happens when Erap gets Alzheimers
disease?
A: His IQ goes up!
Q: What do you get when you offer Erap a penny for
his thoughts?
A: Change.
Q: How did Erap try to kill the bird?
A: He threw it off a cliff.
Q: How does Erap kill a fish?
A: He drowns it.
Q: How do you amuse Erap for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of
paper.
Q: Why does help always arrive late whenever Erap
suffers heart attack?
A: He looks for number "11" when he dials "911".
Galing sa email na ipinadala ni: Fiel L.
Durante
===============
Nais niyo ba magkaroon ng website? Sa Php 1500 maaari na
kayong magkaroon ng isang virtual server na walang katumbas
sa Pilipinas. Magpunta sa
http://www.philshopping.com/webworks. Tingnan ang aming
control panel na nagpapadali ng pagiging webmaster.
===============
How are a San Miguel beer bottle and Erap alike?
They are both empty from the neck up.
Why does Erap keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?
They are for those who don't drink!
How do you confuse Erap?
Stick him in a round room and tell him to sit in the
corner.
Why did the Erap stare at a can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.
Why was the Erap proud for finishing a puzzle in only six
months?
The box said "2 to 4 years!"
Why does Erap always smile during lightning storms?
He thinks his picture is being taken.
Why does Erap have "TGIF" written on his shoes?
Toes Go In First.
How can you tell when Erap sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
Why can't Erap dial 911?
He can not find the eleven on the phone!
What do you do if Erap throws a pin at you?
Run like hell, he's got a grenade in his mouth!
How can you tell if Erap has been using your computer?
There are white-out (snowpake) all over the monitor.
How do you get Erap on the roof?
Tell him the drinks are on the house.
Why is it good to have Erap as a passenger in your car?
You can park in the handicap zone.
Why did God give Erap one more brain cell than He gave
horses?
So he wouldn't shit during parades.
Why shouldn't Erap have coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain him.
Why does Erap like a BMW better than a Volkswagen?
He can spell BMW.
How did Erap break his leg raking leaves?
He fell out of the tree.
Why did Erap instruct his maid to change his baby's diaper
only once a month?
Because it says right on the package that it's good for up
to 20 pounds.
Why doesn't Erap eat Jell-O?
Because he can't figure out how to get 2 cups of water into
those little packages.
If Erap and Cory are tossed off a building, who hits the
ground first?
Cory...Erap has to stop to ask for directions.
Why did Erap tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills.
Why did Erap always wear condoms on his ears every time he
has sex?
So he wouldn't get hearing aids.
What did Erap do when he heard that 90% of accidents occur
around the home?
He moved.
Why did Erap get fired from his job at the M & M's
factory?
He kept throwing out the Ws.
+++++++++++
Erap and Tito Sotto were observed in a parking lot trying
to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
Tito: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Erap: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, it's
starting to rain and the top is down!
+++++++++++
Erap, who is tired of being thought of as dumb, disguised
himself with beard and sunglasses. To prove his point, he
goes to a sheep ranch and asks the sheep herder if he can
guess the number of sheep in his herd, can he have one?
The herder says "Go ahead".
He looks at the herd and says, "352 sheep".
The sheep herder is amazed and said to pick any sheep he
wanted.
As Erap is ready to leave the sheep herder says, "If I can
guess who you are, can I have my dog back"?
++++++++++++
Erap was at a black tie party along with Reli German who
supplied him with a constant flow of Blue Label. All the
gentlemen came in black jackets, white shirts and black
ties and the ladies in black gowns.
Erap thought it was a boring party so he kept drinking his
Blue Label to get him through the night. Then he saw a lady
in a white gown.
"Reli, that's the lady I like", Erap said. "She is a non
conformist and a rebel. I think I will ask her for a
dance."
"Madam, would you care to dance with the Vice president of
the Philippines?" Erap asked.
The lady in white replied, "No and I will give you three
reasons why."
"Reason number one, I don't know how to dance."
"That's a legitimate reason," Erap remarked.
"Reason number two, you are drunk" the lady continued.
"That's your opinion," Erap said.
"Reason number three, I am Cardinal Sin."
Galing sa email na ipinadala ni: Hazel Flores
Nakalista sa http://www.bayani.com/patawa
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Super Perez
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==============================
Searching For The Presence Of Filipinos In The Americas
Prior To 1620
(Originally presented at the Museum of American History,
Smithsonian = Institute, October 1994. A version was
published in the October 1995 = issue of Filipinas
Magazine)
By Alex S. Fabros, Jr.
B.S., M.A., Ph.D. (gonna be)
Bull Shitting, Mad Assed, Pilipino having Delusions
On 27 April 1521, on the island of Mactan, Magellan became
the first European tourist mugged in the Philippines.
Alvaro de Saavedra in 1527 and Ruy Lopez de Villabolos in
1541 followed him unsuccessfully. It was not until 27 April
1565 when Miguel Lopez de Legazpi reached Cebu that Spain
established a permanent Spanish presence in the
Philippines.
With Fr. Andres de Urdaneta as the navigator, the San Pablo
under the command of Legazpi's grandson, Felipe de
Salcedo, departed the Philippines in June 1565 to search
for a return route to Mexico. The route went north east
from the Philippines to the east coast of Japan and then
east to an area off the Mendocino coast of California and
then followed the coast southward to Acapulco. The Manila
galleons used the "Urdaneta" passage for the next 250 years
to bring the riches of Asia to Europe through Mexico. It is
along this route that the first of the los Indios de Las
Filipinas arrived in America.
Who were these Indios? They were not Filipinos, for that
was a term reserved only for a Spaniard of pure blood
born in the islands. They had many names. The term Bisayans
is an appropriate name to call them since the Spaniards
brought these Indios to the new world as slaves. According
to Dr. Juan Francisco, visiting Fulbright scholar
at San Francisco State University, the pre-Hispanic name
referred to the area as the islands of the slaves,
Bisayas.
The Spaniards needed these Bisayans to sail their ships to
Acapulco. The average sized galleon required a crew of
over 200 men. The typical ratio was 5 Indios to 1 Spaniard.
Francisco Leandro de Viana said, "They can teach many of
the Spanish seamen who sail in those seas."
After over 50 years of rule in the New World, the Spaniards
reduced the native populations to the point where they had
to bring in replacement labor from outside the America's,
such as Africa and Las Filipinas.
In addition to the precious cargo of spices and silks from
the Philippines, these galleons also carried deep within
their
holds Bisayans. The trade in human suffering continued
until 1615 when the King of Spain decreed the end of the
selling of his subject Indios from the Philippines in the
New World. The trade in Indias, slave women, had ended in
1608.
Upon the galleon's arrival at Acapulco, the cargo was sold
and shipped overland to Mexico City and then on to Vera
Cruz. From there, the cargo was loaded on the great Spanish
galleons. Bisayans and crew members not needed to sail the
galleon back to the Philippines carried the cargo.
Many of these Bisayans and sailors died before they arrived
in the New World. Others would escape from the galleons
before the ship's arrival at Acapulco. If they were unlucky
and arrived at Acapulco, they were sold into
slavery to work in the silver mines or farms of Mexico.
Others would end their lives working on plantations in
Cuba. Many went on to help settle the frontiers of the New
World.
New Mexico
Spain began the serious exploration of Nueva Mexico in the
late 1580's. Some of the adventurers were Spaniards who had
arrived from the Philippines with their Indio servants.
There are records of slaves being taken north to help
settle the new land.
Since the Spaniards' exploration took them west to the
Colorado River and the Grand Canyon, north to the Black
Hills, and east to the banks of the Missouri and
Mississippi Rivers, could Filipinos have been there, too?
In the early 1600's, the Native Americans attacked the
Spaniards and drove them out of New Mexico. Many of
the Indios were left behind. What happened to them? If they
were not killed by the Indians, what tribes were they
"adopted" into?
Compare the dress of a Pueblo Indian woman in traditional
dress with that of a Filipina native from the remote
regions
of the Philippines. The resemblance in the colors and
patterns on the dress, and the way the hair is worn cannot
be ignored.
Florida.
At the same time that the Philippines was being conquered,
the Spaniards began their exploration of Florida. In 1565,
St. Augustin was founded to act as a buffer against the
French settlements in what is now Southeastern Georgia.
After the defeat of the French in 1570, Spain built a
series of missions from St. Augustin west to Mobile,
Alabama, and north along the southeast coast of Georgia and
the Carolinas. Spain established a few military forts in
Southern Virginia by 1605. The literature mentions the
importation of skilled Indios who helped to build the
fortress.
Since surplus Indios were sold at auctions, it is possible
the Bisayans were scattered throughout the Caribbean area
and could have been at St. Augustin as early as the 1570's.
>From there they would have followed the settlers and
soldiers to the mission settlements.
Since these Indios could have retained a strong desire for
freedom, it is possible that they escaped into the swamps
surrounding St. Augustin and the missions and later
intermarried with the Native Americans. The Seminole
Indians of Florida are the only Indians who wear a turban
style headgear and tight, sleeveless jackets that resemble
the dress of the Moro's of the Philippines. Is there a
relationship?
Further research could support the presence of Bisayans in
Southern Virginia prior to 1600. England established their
first settlements in the Continental U.S. around Jamestown
in 1605. The first African slaves were sold at Jamestown in
1619, 20 years after the Bisayans were there.
Perhaps there could be grounds for redress along the lines
received by the Japanese Americans. The African
Americans demands for redress include 40 acres and a mule.
Would we be eligible for a rice paddy and a carabao?
Thanksgiving.
Fred Cordova, the grandfather of community based Filipino
historians and author of Filipinos: Forgotten Asian
Americans, defines a Pinoy as any individual with at least
one drop of "bagoong" in their veins. Could these early
Filipinos have escaped northward from their Spanish
captors? Could they have intermarried with the Native
American women and produced mixed blood children that
passed on portions of their "bagoong" to the next
generation?
How many of you have been told by Euro-Americans to go back
to where you came from because their ancestors were here
first? How many Euro-Americans have told you that their
ancestors came over on the Mayflower in 1620 and landed at
Plymouth Rock?
Do not stand there quiet and ashamed. The "bagoong" of
these Bisayans flows through your veins. Look them straight
in the eye and tell them proudly, "My ancestors were there
to greet them!"
Those early Bisayans probably exhibited the hospitality and
generosity that modern Filipinos are associated with.
Let us take this possibility one step further. Perhaps the
Bisayans were there and they did invite the starving
Pilgrims to dinner one cold November afternoon. The dinner
would have consisted of typical island dishes such as
lechon, pinacbet, sinigang, lumpia, and halo-halo. The only
turkeys served were the guests.
Galing sa email na ipinadala ni: Allan Bergano