Dear readers,
     The following is a letter found at a certain bar in Manila. Seriously. Apart from the names (which have been changed so as not to incriminate anyone you or I may know), the letter below has been preserved in its original, unedited form. Enjoy.

To Marjie,
     I am not surprise or wander why Dennis leave you. Why? What reason you can think about but you're very fat body. I thoughth before that Dennis only use me ti his toy but sooner and later I'm realize that he really can't not beared or stomached to be with you anymore because at first, Dennis say he could not stand you're habit of making pakialam all his walks and alway calling to their house what time he go home or this or that and then he say he get ashame to met iether in school or in his family and then asking you to exercise you're very, very, very fat body but you hate it thoughth your the most prettiest girls he know about what do you think you are "Beautiful Girl" of Jose Mari Chan even you are beautiful face (to your think) you do not have the right to called me whatsoever or else different name one time or the other for the real purposed to insults my personality because I'm never call you names iether in the front of Dennis or in the backs of Dennis, but if you start already to calling me different name, I'm don't have any other choice but to call you other different name to like you are a PIG, FAT, OBESSED, OVERWIGHT AND UGLY SHAPE girl.
     Shame to you're body that is to a BUDING. You can't not blame Dennis for exchanging you to me because I'm am the more sexier than you when you look to us in the mirror. I'm repeat again that you are like Ike Lozada when she is a girl.

FROM: THE SEXIEST GILL OF D.M.

P.S. You say that I'm the bad breathe but who is Dennis want to kissed. Me or you? You or me? And the final is me.

Galing sa email na ipinadala ni: Abie Co at ni Hazel Flores.
Siyempre hindi alam ang may akda.